I went to a career counselor last week. Interestingly, we verbally walked through my personality type and I self-identified as an INFP. This information, combined with yet another mental health professional suggesting that I suffered the abuse of my mother's narcissistic parenting, has brought me closer still to understanding who I am and how I live my life.
I make decisions with my head. I sacrifice my heart.
My heart wants creativity, art and travel.
My head wants the approval and love of my mother (and others).
The conflict is painful and destructive.
Listening to music.
Watching the dog sleep.
Distracted by the idea of leaving my job.
Trying to reconcile feelings of excitement and sheer terror when I think about having a baby.
My head knows having a baby with P will be special.
My heart feels that a baby and motherhood would be another cage.
Sometimes I just want to run away from the life I have created.
The picture below is overly dramatic (I was playing around with the features on my new phone).
 On another note, I cannot seem to stop listening to this song. |
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